Cookie Jar
by Kvhottie
Summary: Fuji POV,TezukaxFuji. Fuji is a college freshman who despite of his happy, nice guy facade, has quite the sarcastic mind. A collection of moments from his college life and his endearing romance with Tezuka.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: These modern babies aren't mine.

**Introduction**

_I swear. If there was one thing that could bring the world together in solidarity it would probably be a hate for icebreakers. I don't think I have ever met a person who actually enjoys them. So, why the heck does every single social event, orientation, camp, and things of the like start with a round of icebreakers? Even the name of the activity sounds stupid. _

"Shuusuke Fuji. New York City. My underwear color is navy blue."

Well, don't get me wrong. Even though everyone hates it, we still do it. And I'm not the type of person to actually show my dislike for these activities, much less outwardly complain. I keep all my sinister thoughts and comments inside my pretty little head, behind a perfected façade of amiableness. And it has come in handy, being labeled "the nice guy" and such. No one has ever really messed with me since anyone who messes with the nice guy is labeled an asshole. As the nice guy, no one really pries into my business. They get as far as that first layer of niceness and they are satisfied. It's as if they assume the rest of my personality is composed of a dying desire to rescue stay dogs off the street.

"I am thinking of majoring in art, I collect cacti, and I have a pet iguana."

The room collectively roars, "You don't collect cacti!"

I grin, "Wrong, I don't have a pet iguana."

And that was that. They moved on to the next victim. It was easy keeping my façade up with my suitemates. They were still hyped up on the newness of college and on that peculiar, orientation-bred desire to be friendly. I wasn't really affected by whatever pheromones these guys were bouncing off each other. Since I went to boarding school, this whole thing seemed old to me. I wasn't sick of it; I just wasn't as excited as them. But as usual, I did not show my true emotions and gleefully joined their conversation.

Soon after our gathering disperses, I feel someone tap my shoulder. It was the loud little red head that reminded me of a cat. Judging by the way this kid jitters around I would not be surprised if he had ADD. And not only was he bouncy, he was clingy. Truthfully, I was completely fine with it. I had an older sister who never failed to assault my personal space. Dealing with clingy people was almost a forte.

"Hey! I'm Eiji."

I laugh, "Yeah, I know. We just introduced ourselves."

He scrunches his nose, "Yeah…but I'm horrible with names. Remind me of yours?"

_And this is why icebreakers are completely useless._

* * *

**Authors Note:** I've missed you guys. I'm back from a two-year writer's block/college busyness hiatus! Well, I shouldn't necessarily say "back" since I am still as busy as ever and can't update frequently. But I am trying to get back into writing and this drabble project is my attempt. I am trying a new tone of voice and a more modern take with this fic. The characters will be a bit OOC since I am transporting them to a modern American environment but also because I've added more twists to their personalities. But well, I'll stop my yapping. I hope you guys enjoy the ride and please **_REVIEW!_**

Ps. Yes, believe it or not, I'm still trying to drag myself through _Fall in Love With Me Again_. I am adamant about not leaving it half-done and am slowly chipping at it, but I wont make any promises of how this will all go. I am about halfway done with the next chapter so hopefully that will be up by the end of the week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Love**

Love is a beautiful thing. Well, I have never experienced it and am not sure if I ever will, but I admire its pure beauty. It is passionate and painful, destroying and rebuilding instantaneously. And from what I have seen, it doesn't last too long. Sure, I enjoy all that bullshit Disney and movies feed us about everlasting love but I don't actually believe it. And all of that comes from a respect of seeing what true love looks like. It looks like my parents, who were once young and ravenous but are now complacent, gentle, and resemble business partners more than they do lovers. True love happens when you decide to give up aspirations for an endless, fiery Hollywood love. When you truly look at what you have and embrace it in that peach colored shawl of companionship. It's freaking gorgeous. I've seen it play out in front of me for the last 18 years of my life and I couldn't be more grateful.

And how does any of this have to do with why I was staring at the bespectacled man a few seats away from me? Well, many things.

1. After many years of observing true love, deep inside me lies a strong desire to experience it.

2. He is very damn attractive.

3. This guy seriously looks like he needs some loving.

Kunimitsu is the serious type: stoic, seemingly emotionless, and emitting a chill that runs as deep as the iceberg that sunk the titanic. You know those types, right? He truly is the "stick up their ass" or more politely, "woke up on the wrong side of bed" type of guy. And that is something I am starting to find oddly attractive. I think I like the challenge. But its not like I have ever aimed after cold men. Though I have been aware of my attraction to men, I have never dated any. I've mostly only gone out with older, elegant girls. Maybe college is bringing out new sides of me?

But yeah, he is as Eiji might put it, "a fine piece of work". He has soft, slightly tousled light brown hair that frays out right above his ears. His sharp brown eyes are always hidden behind dorky round silver glasses. He is taller and as a result of being a tennis player, more built than me. Yeah, I know I know. But I am definitely on the receiving end so those qualities were important to me. The only issue here is that he is as straight as a plank. But hey, planks bend under pressure.

"Do you want to pair up for the facilitation?" I give him my most innocent smile; no one could resist it.

He looks up from the books he is putting away and takes his time trying to analyze me. He gives my appearance a run through and after deeming me harmless he responds, "I'd rather work alone."

I place a few strands of hair behind my ear, "And do all the talking by yourself? Considering how little you participate, you sure don't seem like you'll enjoy that very much."

He lets out a sigh, "Yeah, I'm won't. But if I am going to end up doing all the work, I rather not pair up with anyone."

"Hey, how rude. I promise I'll do my share of the work."

He slings his bag on his shoulder, "Why do you even want to work with me, anyway?"

I shrug, "No reason, you just seem like a better option than our other classmates. And unlike you, I'd rather pair up with someone." _And you are hella attractive._

He nods, still a bit reluctant, "Sure then. I'm Kunimitsu, by the way."

"I know. Unlike most people in the school, I can actually remember names from icebreakers. I'm Shuusuke."

He adjusts his glasses, "I know. I guess that makes two of us."

I can't help but laugh at that. This isn't going to be as impossible as I expected.


	3. Chapter 3

**Light**

I consider myself quite lucky. Not only had I gotten Kunimitsu to be my facilitation partner, we also exchanged cellphone numbers and are currently working on said project. The class we have together is an English literature theory class that focuses on identifying things like the sublime and wonder in Shakespeare. Kunimitsu and I agreed on A Winter's Tale and that I would do sixty percent of the talking and forty percent of the research while he does the inverse.

"So, why are you in this class? It's pretty high level to just be a divisional requirement."

Kunimitsu looks up from his computer screen, "Do I not look the type?"

I tilt my head to the side, putting my hands up to make the cliché finger frames, "Hmm. You do look bookish but I would guess a hardcover textbook, not Shakespeare."

That earns me a microscopic grin, but a grin nonetheless, "I tend to really enjoy the classics."

I flash him a warm smile, "How surprising. We have more in common than I thought."

He adjusts his glasses "Shuusuke, you are getting distracted. Focus on your work."

"I am, I am. But I can't help wanting to talk to you", I reply honestly.

He clears his throat, a habit of his, "Yeah, I understand. Your talkative nature is a bit contagious. But we should get our work done first."

My cheeks warm up and I look down at my screen to hide them. That means he won't mind talking after we finish our project. Kunimitsu doesn't know how flustered his honesty makes me at times. He doesn't understand that one tiny comment, which I was probably taking too seriously, makes me extremely happy. At first I thought he was going to be completely silent but his polite nature pushes him to respond to my questions and comments. And although he is still very serious and cold, there are slivers of humor and warmness in his personality. It just takes some time for him to show them to you. No matter how much Kunimitsu makes people feel like they are standing in the middle of the artic, whenever I am around him, I feel strangely light. As if something has been lifted off my shoulders. I am not sure why but around him my smiles are truly genuine, very far from the façade I usually put on for everyone else.

"I'm done with my part" Kunimitsu states, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I stretch my arms above my head and look over the slides I made on Google Drive's presentation maker. "Yeah, same. Let's look over each other's slides."

"Hn." And after a few minutes he glances up at me, "You did a good job."

I let out an airy laugh and shake my head, "You don't have to look so surprised, you know."

His eyebrows furrow, "Oh, I apologize. I'm just not used to having a competent partner."

"Well, I'm happy to be the first. You should do that more often, by the way."

"Do what more often?"

I grin, "Show emotion, Mr. Iceberg."

"I'm not very fond of that nickname, Shuusuke. And I do show emotion; they just don't show on my face as clearly as they do on other people. "

"Is that so" I say in a sarcastic manner.

He stares at me, scanning my face, "It's not like you are much better."

I meet his beautiful, sharp brown eyes, "What do you mean?"

"This façade of yours is just as bad as my poker face." His eyes don't budge, they feel like they're piercing through me, "You always put on a happy demeanor and push yourself to smile for everyone."

I sigh, "Am I that easy to read?"

"No, you aren't. But I have a knack for reading people."

Oh man, this kid doesn't even know the half of it. "Really, you do? Then you should be able to tell that there is one person I don't force myself to smile around."

He ponders for a bit, "I don't really know you that well Shuusuke, so it'd be hard for me to know that."

"Not if the person is yourself, Sherlock." Knack for reading people, my butt.

"Oh." His face is deadpan for a few seconds but then his lips form into another of those microscopic grins, "Thank you. I also find spending time with you pleasant."

I give him an uneasy smile, realizing that I am not prepared for how serious these feelings are becoming. I am falling; sinking so deeply that I swear I can see where the Titanic ended up. From this moment on I know it's only going to get worse. This feeling in my chest, the lump in my throat, and the dire need to filter myself before I spill out all my thoughts are only going to grow. They'll nip at me until they almost consume me. Who knew that the person who makes me feel so light could also make me feel like the earth is trying to pull me under.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dark**

"When do you think we'll get our grade for the facilitation?"

Kunimitsu takes a sip of water; "We only did it last week so I am guessing we will hear back in another week or two."

I sink my spoon into my chocolate cake, "That sounds about right. I think we did a good job so I'm hoping for at least a B+".

"Yes. So am I."

It has been almost a month since Kunimitsu and I first started talking. Although I was already in love with the guy from the get-go, he only started truly warming up to me after a few of our facilitation planning sessions. We often have dinner together like this, and recently he is the one to text me first. Overall, it's been an extremely fun month. I love Kunimitsu's company; he's intelligent, good at keeping a conversation going, and wonderful to look at. He always sits completely straight up, his broad back and lean body calling for my attention. I catch myself ogling at him more than I would like, cursing in my head every time I end up staring at his lips while he talks instead of meeting his eyes. Yet, at the same time, I've had a few miserable moments. Although my nice guy façade is always down when I am around Kunimitsu, I've had to develop a mask to hide my true feelings from him. And there are moments when I notice Kunimitsu's sharp eyes trying to scrutinize me. His lips part slightly as if they are about to tell me that he knows of my forced behavior, but not a word slips out.

I watch as Kunimitsu eats his cheesecake and decide to push my luck, "Hey, Kunimitsu?"

He swallows and my eyes trace the path from his thin lips, to his neck, past his well-defined collarbones, "Yes?"

_I really need to control myself._ I give him a close-eyed grin, "Can I get a bite of your cheesecake?" _It isn't weird, right? Guy friends share food all the time, right?_

He seems to have a short inner dialogue, asking himself whether he was comfortable with engaging in something so human like. "Sure", he pushes the small plate closer to me. "Go ahead."

My eyes widen a bit and I chuckle, "Wow. I'm genuinely surprised."

"I'm not an alien, Shuusuke. It shouldn't be that surprising."

I scoop some of the cheesecake while my mind overheats over the fact that this is an indirect kiss, "I'm sorry. I just thought you might be a germaphobe."

He shakes his head, "Not really. I don't mind sharing things with my friends."

I almost wince. Although the comment makes me happy, it also feels like a dagger to the gut. _Just friends, huh_. I beam at him, trying to disguise the pain, "You'll make me blush if you are so honest, Kunimitsu. You consider me your friend?"

He places his spoon on top of his plate, "Well, aren't you? We wouldn't be having dinner like this if you weren't."

"True." I tuck a few strands of hair behind my ear as I focus on not sounding completely flat, "I also see you as a friend…a very dear friend."

He gives me a small nod, "The feeling is mutual."

Just as I am going to reply with a sarcastic comment to further push the dagger of bitterness into my stomach, a tall, brunette girl taps Kunimitsu on the shoulder. She is quite pretty, her eyes resembling emeralds, and from the content of their conversation, she seems to be in Kunimitsu's psychology class. As I observe their interactions, the grip on my spoon becomes stronger and I can feel myself glowering. I look down at the table to avoid burning a hole into her seemingly flawless, tan skin. I already hated her. The time it takes for me to despise the girls Kunimitsu talks to shortens with every one. I know. I am being irrational and pathetic. I have no right to be possessive of him since he is nothing of mine. But I can't help it. With every passing moment my feelings become more tainted and corrosive. I am trying to keep a lid on a heart that is brimming with lust, jealousy, and pain but it's proving to be impossible. Yet, the more defeated I feel, the harder I try because I don't want to lose him.

"Shuusuke? Are you okay?"

My eyes lock with soft, worried ones, "Yeah. I'm fine." _I'm not. Not in the least._

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys! I hope you are all enjoying this so far. Things are going to amp up quite a bit after this chapter! Please leave reviews and show your love 3


	5. Chapter 5

**Seeking Solace**

I am sexually frustrated, emotionally distraught, and bitter. What do college kids do when they are feeling this way? They get drunk, party, and get laid. I know, pretty unhealthy. But I am not in the mood to question how stupid and reckless I am being. Plus, it is the first big party of the year. My suite, Suite A of freshman dormitory Johnson Hall, is throwing a joint party with Suite B and Suite C. It is known as the infamous ABC party, where many bad decisions are made but generally a good time is had. The freshman class was bustling with excitement for tonight's bash. Eiji and I helped with Suita A's portion of the organizing, though we were only in charge of snacks since we didn't have fakes to help with the alcohol. Although I doubt he will even show his face, Kunimitsu, who lives in Suite C, also helped out by providing cups and utensils.

"Are you ready yet?" Eiji whines.

I finish combing my hair, "It only started five minutes ago. Chill out. I'll be done in a minute." I had decided to go with white low V-neck, black skinny jeans, and grey converse. I put on a long silver necklace and Eiji gets closer to observe.

"You really are going all out for this."

I shrug, "Well, yeah. I'm looking to impress."

He gives me a mischievous smile, "Are you planning to bring someone home with you?"

_Oh, right. I don't think he knows._ I return the knowing grin, "No. I'm planning on someone taking me home with them."

His eyes widen like a kid's in the Hershey's store, "Wait. Shuu…are you gay?"

I stuff my keys and my phone in my pocket, "I've liked both girls and guys so I'd say I'm probably bisexual. But I've been leaning towards guys recently."

Eiji hangs his arm around my neck, "Welcome to the dark side."

"Wait, really?"

He laughs loudly, his short, red hair brushing my cheek, "I guess birds of a feather flock together. But I never have and never will do girls. Not my thing."

I ruffle his hair. It's reassuring to know I have someone who understands my issues and will listen to my rants. "We should get going before all the good guys are taken."

He pulls me by the wrist, pumping his fist in the air, "Lets go!"

Eiji and I head down to the main common room in Johnson Hall basement. We hear the mainstream pop music even before we open the door. Eiji barges in, excitedly commenting on how good everything turned out. A few people look our way but then continue to chat amongst themselves. I spot the beverage table and drag Eiji towards it; I wont to be able to do this sober. I can't let my thoughts of Kunimitsu or inevitable guilt get in the way. I need to get drunk. Although I'm not a tank, I'm also not a lightweight so I need to start now. I pour Eiji and myself a shot of Smirnoff and pass one of the red solo cups to him.

"First, a shot to our friendship. Then, we can divide and conquer."

Eiji nods, "3…2..1..shots!"

I gulp the vodka, scrunching my face at the burning sensation and horrible taste. I swear this stuff is rubbing alcohol; all they do is relabel it. I chuckle when I see Eiji's reaction, "It's horrible isn't it?" I take his cup and pour him some punch. "There is a lot of alcohol in this even if it just tastes like juice, so be careful of how much you drink. Unless you are planning on getting drunk like I am."

"Thanks Shuu. I just saw a guy I sit next to in history class so I'm going to go talk to him. Good luck! Tell me all about your night tomorrow." He blows me a kiss and scurries off to a guy with a black buzz cut.

I pour myself a cup and turn around to survey the room. I don't really believe in gaydar, but at times I can tell if a guy could be into me. It's less of an instinct and more of a reading of body language. After all, I've made out with men that were not necessarily into men, just flexible when it came to me. My eyes focus on a tall guy with duo-toned hair leaning on the wall diagonal from me. He is in the class I share with Kunimitsu. Judging by the look in his eyes during our previous chats, he might have potential. _What is his name again…Kojirou, right? _I chug the rest of my drink and pour myself another before I approach him.

"Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave my heart into my mouth…"

He turns to me, a dashing smile on his face, "…I love your majesty according to my bond; no more nor less." He chuckles, "That is by far the best pick up line I could possibly get, Shuusuke."

_Yup, I got this in the bag._ I wink at him, "You know how much I like my Shakespeare. And I heard you say that _King Lear_ is your favorite book."

His cheeks redden a bit. Sure, he was no Kunimitsu, but he was a cutie. "And you remembered that?"

I lean closer; I am definitely past buzzed at this point "Of course. Kojirou."

He is obviously flustered but he welcomes my advances with a warm smile, "What about you?"

I take another gulp of my drink, "I don't really have a favorite book but I love _The Little Prince_."

"Hmm…'no one was ever able to find the treasure, perhaps no one even searched,' right?" He arches an eyebrow, showing that gorgeous smile again, "Will I be able to find the treasure?"

_Not only cute but also surprisingly suave_. I touch his arm lightly, "Well, that's up to you. You want to get out of here?"

He runs his hand through his hair, "Yeah."

I grab his wrist to lead him out of the common room but the moment I get off the wall and try to walk, I get a bit too dizzy for my liking. He catches me by the waist before I fall but my cup spills all over the floor. And it draws a lot of attention, especially from someone who wasn't even supposed to show his face at the party.

"Oh, fucking dandy" I whisper under my breath as I see Kunimitsu walking towards us.

"Shuusuke, are you okay?" What is pissing me off the most is that he looks truly concerned, typical of a good friend.

"I'm fine," I say curtly and take Kojirou's hand, "We were just heading out."

His eyes narrow and he places a hand on my shoulder, "I don't you should do that in this condition."

He is the last person I want to see right now. I have no control over my emotions, much less my mouth. "You are not my damn father, Kunimitsu," I hiss. The acidity in my voice shocks me.

"But I am your friend and I don't want you to do something you'll regret tomorrow."

I scoff, "Oh, that's just rich."

Kojirou slides his hand out of mine, "Shuusuke, you are pretty drunk right now. You should go home. "

"I'll take him, " Kunimitsu grabs my elbow.

"No", I yell.

His voice has an edge to it, "You are making a scene. Please, lets just go."

Kunimitsu's face looks really strained and Kojirou looks a bit embarrassed. They are right; I need to get out of here. I shouldn't be taking out my anger in public like this. I sigh, "Fine." I turn to Kojirou and give him a kiss on the cheek, "I'm sorry. I'll see you around."

He touches his cheek and smirks, "Sure. See you."

I meet Kunimitsu's eyes, too drunk to decipher them "Let's go."

He nods and grabs my wrist, slowly leading me up to my room. My fumbling makes him lose his patience and he reaches inside my pocket for my room keys, opening the door carefully. He sits me down on my bed and takes a cup from my shelf, filling it with water from my fridge. He has already been in my room a few times so he has gotten used to the layout. He goes into my medicine drawer and gets me aspirin, handing me the water and the medicine.

"Drink it." I can feel his glare burrowing into my skin.

"Hn." I take the aspirin and drink all the water, avoiding his eyes at all cost.

"Shuusuke…"

I hate his tone; it claws at my heart to expose my guilt. "What?"

"You are avoiding my eyes. I'm not judging you, you know. I am just concerned."

"And that is exactly what I find so funny", my voice cracks.

He places a gentle hand under my chin and makes me face him, "Is it really that weird that I care for a friend?"

"Friend. Fucking friend. That stupid word", I look away, hot tears roll down my cheeks. "I'm just so tired of this. I feel lousy and pathetic."

He kneels down in front of me, his voice dripping with sympathy, "Shuusuke. What is wrong? Why are you crying?"

I hide my face my hands, even in this state I am not willing to tell him. "Everything is wrong. Unrequited love sucks."

"Oh." He gives me a hug, patting my back gently. "It will be okay. I'm sure things will work out for you eventually."

I let my tears seep into his shoulder since this is the closest we will probably ever get. _He just doesn't get it._ The possibility of me liking him is so outside of his reality that he doesn't even register obvious hints. I continue crying late into the night and Kunimitsu continues spewing useless, empty promises. Finally, I pass out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Break Away**

The moment I open my eyes my hands shoot down to cradle my stomach and I promise some distant god to never drink like that again in exchange for him getting rid of the nuclear waste burning a hole through me. "Ugh…lord have mercy." I hear a short exhale through the nose that resembles something close to a laugh but I am not sure since my migraine is playing a drum solo in my head. I slowly turn towards the sound, lying on my side as my eyes adjust to the beaming rays of sun. _What time is it?_

"Good Morning."

I push messy hair strands away from my face, "Kunimitsu?" He is sitting on my desk chair, close to my bed, with a book in his hands.

He leans closer, "How are you feeling?"

I wince, forcing a smile, "Just peachy."

"Considering how much you drank yesterday, you should be grateful you didn't vomit."

No mercy from him, as expected. "Yeah… What are you doing here?"

He stands up and fills a cup of water, handing it to me, "Taking care of you."

I struggle to sit up but finally manage to sit far up enough so that the water doesn't spill all over me, "I'm sorry to be such a bother. I know I was a total jerk yesterday." I remember everything that happened the night before and having to see Kunimitsu's face the moment I wake up is not making things any easier. I love this side to him but I am about ready to rip both my heart and my stomach out of my body.

"It's fine," he assures me in a gentle, baritone voice. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, "You are dealing with things that I don't quite understand and although seeing how you acted yesterday surprised me, I know that it was the alcohol that made you act that way."

I bite the rim of the cup and stare at my lap, "…Yeah." The funny thing is that I meant everything I said while intoxicated; the alcohol just loosened my mouth. Doesn't the saying go "the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children"? Although I hardly think that the statement is universal, I find a lot of truth in it. But in this situation I accept that it is better for Kunimitsu to think that the alcohol controlled me. Except for one thing. "The alcohol didn't push me to flirt with Kojirou. That was all me." Like an idiot, I want him to be aware of my sexual preferences, to acknowledge my sexuality.

"Oh." Kunimitsu scratches the back of his neck, "Okay."

I give him the empty cup, "How anticlimactic."

"I don't really know how to respond to that. I figured that alcohol wouldn't affect your sexuality so yesterday I took the hint…"

_If only you'd take more freaking hints, you dunce. _"It doesn't bother you?"

He shakes his head, "Not at all. I think people should like whoever they like."

I smile shyly, "That's good."

I feel a rough yet warm hand on my cheek, a thumb gently gliding over my cheekbone. The shock almost makes me spit out my heart so I bite my bottom lip to prevent that. "Shuusuke, your eyes are still extremely red. Do you want me to get you an icepack to put over them?"

I nod, I had forgotten how much I'd cried yesterday, "Yes, momma."

He rolls his eyes, "Hilarious. While I'm at it, do you want anything to eat?"

I scrunch my face, "Ugh. I'm hungry, I think, but I doubt my stomach can hold anything right now."

"How about saltine crackers?"

"Hm. That sounds okay. Bring me some."

He opens the door, "Okay. I'll get the ice pack and the crackers from my room. I'll be right back" and shuts it behind him.

I lie down and close my eyes, resting the back of my right hand on my forehead. I need to decide on what I am going to do next. Do I keep pushing my feelings deep inside me, forcing smiles and jokes to hide them? Or do I confess my feelings, get completely rejected, and lose the friendship I have with Kunimitsu. I hit my mattress with my other hand; I know the first options sounds like the better one but can I really call this a friendship at this point? I hide a lot of things from him and I often ignore him in order to avoid awkward situations. This is barely a friendship on my part. I am just taking advantage of his kindness because I want to be as close to him as I possibly can. It is extremely selfish. I know what I need to do. I just need to confess, get crushed, and distance myself from him. As I've learned in the past, this is the only way I can start getting over him. Maybe after some time, hopefully only a month or so, we can be friends again.

There is a tiny knock, "It's Kunimitsu."

I sit up again, "Enter."

"Do you want to eat or ice your eyes first?"

I glance at the box of saltine crackers in his hand, "Food" and childishly grab at the air for them.

He passes the box to me and also hands me another cup of water, "It's good that it is Saturday. You still have tomorrow to do your work."

I nibble on a cracker and after being pleased by its taste, I take bigger bites. " I always procrastinate until Sunday, anyway. Nothing new."

He sits down again, "That's not good, Shuusuke. You should space out your work and start on Friday so you aren't crammed for time on Sunday."

"Says the perfect honor student, Kunimitsu Tezuka" I joke. I place the cup and the box of saltines on my nightstand and bring my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "I am surprised this honor student actually came to the party yesterday."

"We were hosting it so I thought it would be rude if I didn't show up." He plays with the cover of his book, smoothing the edges that had inevitably bent, "And I wanted to experience a college party. As much as I prioritize work, I also think college is about having fun in moderation."

I chuckle and rest my cheek on my knees, my eyes outlining his gorgeous face. "Has anyone told you how ridiculously perfect you are? It's a bit scary, Kunimitsu."

His brown eyes lock on to mine, "I'm very far from perfect. Trust me."

"It's hard to trust you on that when I only see perfection in front of me. Unlike you, I don't have the power to see past this uptight façade you have."

He looks down at his black digital watch and starts to play with it, "…You will eventually. It takes time for me to bring down my walls and let people inside. I've been like this for a very long time."

"I hope that is true, even after all this."

"What?"

I take a deep breath and let the words slip out as I exhale, "I like you, Kunimitsu; romantically and sexually." I am trembling, barely able to say the line without my voice jumping an octave. I observe his face careful so I can burn the sight into my breaking heart and use it as fuel later on. His eyes widen and one eyebrow arches right when his mouth slightly opens. As expected, his reactions are never extreme. After a few seconds he closes his mouth and furrows his eyebrows, his hands squeezing his thighs as he contemplates his answer. I continue to stare at him, trying to blink away the tears that are ready to spill out.

His soft eyes cautiously meet mine again, "I really appreciate your feelings, Shuusuke. I really do. But at this moment, I can only see you as a friend. I'm sorry."

I give him a closed eyed smile, tears staining my cheeks, "No, It's okay! I knew what your answer was going to be. I just needed to get it out of my system." I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands, "But I need time away from you. I can't be a proper friend to you while I'm dragging these feelings around."

"So, we shouldn't talk?"

"Just for a while…until I think I'm ready to face you again." My voice is shaky and quiet, "I'm sorry to be so selfish but being around you right now is painful."

He sighs, his voice sounding defeated "Should I leave then?"

I nod, "Please."

He gets up and puts his book under his arm, slowly walking to the door. Before the door shuts I hear a quiet "I'm sorry" and footsteps walking away. I press the palms of my hands to my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to stabilize myself. _I'll be just fine. I'll forget about these feelings soon enough and we'll be able to be friends again. _I rest my forehead on my knees and squeeze with all my might. The first step is to ice my aching eyes; the second is to stop myself from crumbling.


	7. Chapter 7

**Heaven**

"Come on Shuu, it'll be good for you!" Eiji pouts and tugs at my shirt.

I sigh as I stand up from my bed, "Fine. You're probably right."

He beams and hugs me tightly, "Great! You'll have so much fun that you'll forget all about that dummy Kunimitsu."

"I doubt that," I scoff.

Eiji shoves me towards my closet, "Oh whatever, grumpy-pants. Just get dressed and come down; I'll be waiting with Ichi in his car."

He practically runs out the door, making me chuckle to myself. Unlike mine, Eiji's love life is vibrant and rose colored. He and Shuuichirou, or Ichirou for short, started going out about two weeks ago, a few days after the ABC party. I am extremely happy for him and his bubbly attitude has cheered me up countless times in the last few days. It's been unbearably difficult to be distant from Kunimitsu. Even if I avoid talking to him or looking at him, he constantly haunts my mind. I spend every waking moment and every dirty dream thinking about him. It's driving me insane and my façade is suffering from all of the radioactive feelings swimming in me. I am sick of people asking me if I am okay or telling me that something seems off recently. I know. I freaking know that better than anyone. But I am trying my best here, it'll just take longer than I expected. And Kunimitsu isn't making things any easier. He always has this strange, pained expression on his face whenever our eyes happen to meet. It makes me wonder what could possibly puncture his perfect façade and gives me hope that maybe my absence is affecting him. But I often kill those feelings at the root, reminding myself that holding on to pipe dreams will only hurt me later on.

I throw on a black V-neck tee and some denim jeans, I want to look nice but am too unmotivated to actually put in the effort. I grab my jacket and cellphone, stuffing my keys and wallet in my pockets. After leaving the dorm, I look for Eiji and a guy with a haircut that reminds me of a bowling ball. I spot them in a silver Volvo parked across the street and walk towards them. "I like the car and the new hairstyle, Ichirou" I comment as I slide into the back seat. Ichirou is now sporting short, wavy hair that he has stylishly combed back. It is a huge step up from his last hairstyle.

He looks back at me and grins, "Why, thank you. Are you ready to have a blast tonight?"

I shrug and put on my seat belt, "I guess. In what dark corner of Massachusetts is this gay club, anyway?"

"It's actually in a cute little corner of Bennington, Vermont. Ichi and I went there last weekend so we can promise you it's really fun. Their DJ is great and since its 17 and up, just as long as we aren't obnoxiously trying to get alcohol, everything is chill."

"That sounds great, I'm really in the mood for dancing."

Ichirou pulls away from the curb and turns into route 2, "Good. This place is great for that. It's only twenty minutes away so it won't take long to get there. Also, if you do want to drink, I have a fake I can use."

I laugh, "No, no, it's okay. I've decided to stay away from alcohol for a while."

Eiji nods, "Considering the mess that happened in the ABC party, I think that is a good idea."

"Yeah…" I mumble, leaning on the door to watch scenery speed by.

Club Manhandler is quite cozy and low key, despite its ridiculous name. It is a decent size and though it isn't completely packed, there is a good amount of people drinking at the bar and dancing on the clear glass dance floor. We find a table away from the blaring disco lights to put our stuff down and order a few sodas. The two lovebirds down their drinks and excuse themselves, advising me to find myself a hunk to dance with. I laugh as I shoo them away and continue to sip on my ginger ale, absentmindedly playing with the straw wrapper.

"Is this seat taken, beautiful?"

I glance up to see startling green eyes, "No, it isn't." The guy has ear-length, blonde, wavy hair and a killer body. I am very aware that I am ogling.

"So you like what you see?" he asks as he sits next to me.

I smirk "I do. But that's not enough to be in my good graces."

He chuckles, his laugh deep and very damn attractive, "I'm happy. It'd be too easy then. What's your name?"

"Shuusuke. Yours?"

"Will. Are you from around here?"

I play with my straw, "No, I'm from New York City but I go to Windfield College."

"Wow, a college kid. You could pass for older." He smiles, his cheeks a bit red, "I'm not going to ask what grade you are in because even if you are a senior, I'm a bit too old for you."

He looks around twenty eight, but I don't mind since I've always liked older partners. I give him a bright smile, "Then I wont ask for your age. A little mystery always spices things up."

We talk for a while, jumping between personal topics and hobbies. After I finish my soda Will offers to get me a drink and I decline at first, but he urges me to at least get some Moscato. I give in; one cup of Moscato is not going to do any harm. He comes back with my drink and a beer of his own.

"Sorry for the wait."

He hands me the glass and I take a sip, "Mmm. They serve pretty good Moscato here."

"Yeah. I really like this place. I often come here when I need to relax."

"Or when you need some release?" I say, arching my eyebrow knowingly.

Will runs a hand through his hair, "Well, that too. It's not like I'm expecting anything, though."

I finish my Moscato, even when drunk quickly this amount of alcohol won't get me anywhere near buzzed, "I like to dance. So why don't you invite me to dance and we'll leave the other details for later."

He chugs his beer and takes my hand, "Lets dance then!"

We walk to the dance floor just as they start to play an R&B song I know from middle school. Will isn't familiar with the song so I just guide his hand to my waist, and we slowly grind against each other. He holds me really close, his lips near my neck and hands sliding up and down my leg. We stay like this for a few songs, the sexual tension almost palpable. But then the DJ throws a curveball and plays a slow dance, causing us to burst into laughter and face each other like award teenagers in prom. I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my chin on his shoulder, searching the room for Eiji and Ichirou. I spot them in a dark corner practically eating each other's faces off. _Typical_. I realize I forgot to tell Will about them and step back to do so, but just as I leave his grasp I am hit with an extreme dizzy spell. It is like nothing I've every experienced before. I rub my temples, my knees on the verge of giving out. _I didn't drink enough alcohol to be this intoxicated. This makes no sense._

"Are you okay Shuusuke?" Will snakes his arm around my waist and a disgusting, uneasily feeling crawls up my skin. "Are you sick? Come, I'll take you to the nearby hospital if you want."

I try to push him away but my body feels numb, "No. Stop." My voice is barely a whisper at this point. My mind goes on overdrive as I lose all control over my body and Will drags me away from the dance floor. _He drugged me. I am such a freaking idiot. He'll rape and kill me._ But then it hits me, a sudden, excruciating pain that draws out an inhuman sound from me. I claw at my chest; it feels like someone is piling weights on top of it. Will freezes; by the look in his eyes he was not expecting this kind of reaction. He realizes that my body is having a bad reaction to the drug. I wheeze and gasp for air, desperate to fill my lungs. _This hurts so freaking much. Please, someone help me._ I vaguely feel Will place me on the floor and scream something. Everything starts getting hazy just as people crowd around me. I catch glimpses of Eiji's red hair floating over me and red and blue lights blinking rapidly. The memory roll ends at a bright, white light.

* * *

**A/N:** For those who have left reviews, thank you so much! You don't know how much that means to me! I promise things just get better and sweeter from here (for the most part). Please continue to review and leave love. It really motivates me to keep going and put these chapters out as quickly as I can.


	8. Chapter 8

**Innocence **

I wake up to warm fingers slowly running through my hair. My eyes flutter open, blinking to get used to the intense hospital lights. _This is a hospital, right?_ It doesn't take me by surprise that I seem to be in the hospital but I don't quite remember why I ended up here. As I search my memory for answers, my eyes flicker to the IV drip to my left and the mask over my mouth. Considering the condition I am in right now, something pretty serious must have happened. I turn my head to the right, towards the owner of the warm fingers, and am washed by a wave of déjà vu. There, sitting close to my bed as he rakes his fingers through my hair, is an exhausted Kunimitsu. I take off the mask and turn my head towards him; my lips automatically shaping into a loving smile "…Kunimitsu". My voice comes out in scratchy, husky tones.

His expression turns soft, as if hearing me say his name is all he needs in life, "Shuusuke, you're finally awake."

I'm a bit taken aback by how tender his voice sounds, "W-What happened? I barely remember anything."

His fingers slip out of my hair and ball into a fist by my pillow, "What do you remember from yesterday?"

I bite my lip, "I remember Eiji, Ichirou, and I went to Club Manhandler. I talked and danced with a guy named Will. Then all of a sudden I felt really dizzy, even though I only had drunk one cup of Moscato. I was terrified and I realized that he probably drugged me. That's about it."

"That pretty much summarizes everything," he explains with a strained expression. He pauses for a few seconds, his angry brown eyes piercing my blue ones. "Shuusuke, he roofied your drink and your body had a horrible reaction to the drug laced alcohol. You were suffering from pretty extreme respiratory depression so the doctors had to put you in that pressure ventilation mask to help you breathe."

I bundle some of the white sheets in my hand, "Oh." I really don't even know how to react to this information. It all seems so far away from me yet here I am, on a hospital bed. "I was stupid, I'm so-

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault some idiot drugged you." I've never seen Kunimitsu so on edge and strangely, it makes me happy he is being this defensive over me.

"Thank you", I mumble. I am grateful that things didn't turn out worse than this and I have people by my side who care for me. I think I was scared that I would be blamed for all of this. Granted, I should have known better than to accept a drink from a stranger. But that is no excuse to blame me for someone's disgusting, immoral actions. "How did you find out I was in the hospital?" I ask, my voice just above a whisper.

He sighs, "Eiji and Ichirou frantically called me so I borrowed a car."

"Where are they now?"

"They are getting me and themselves some coffee. We haven't slept much since yesterday."

I place a hand on top of Kunimitsu's fist, "It's obvious; you look really tired. But, I was really happy to wake up and see you by my side." I convince myself that since Kunimitsu already knows about my feelings and I'm currently hospitalized, it should be okay for me to at least do this much.

Kunimitsu's fist loosens and his fingers wrap around my hand, "I was really worried. I-

"You like your coffee black, right Kunimitsu?" Eiji interrupts, too preoccupied balancing the drinks in his hands to realize right away that I am awake. But as soon as he gets close enough his head snaps up and he quickly places the drinks on the table nearby, running over to hug me. "Shuu! Oh my god, you're awake!" Kunimitsu lets go of my hand and steps away from the bed to avoid getting stuck in the middle.

I sit up and weakly return hug, "Eiji, don't squeeze me too hard."

Ichirou pulls Eiji away, offering me a gentle smile, "Good to see you awake, Shuusuke."

Eiji rubs his tear-brimmed eyes, "We were so worried! I'm sorry we didn't keep you company yesterday. We shouldn't have left you sitting alone."

I pinch his cheeks, "Hey, stop being a crybaby. I'm fine aren't I? And it isn't anyone's fault aside from the creep who drugged me."

Ichirou gives my shoulder a slight squeeze, "Do you remember what he looks like? I think you should report this incident and give the cops a description of his face. Even if he doesn't live in this town, this could prevent him from drugging someone in another town."

I nod, "That's true. I'll go report it as soon as I leave the hospital."

"I'll take you," Kunimitsu states from the foot of my bed. "The doctors said they only have a few tests to run after you wake up, so I'll wait until you are done."

"But you should head back with Eiji and Ichirou to get some rest" I protest.

He crosses his arms, "Regardless of what you say, I'm staying."

_So Kunimitsu also has a stubborn side._ I turn to Eiji and Ichirou, "Well, there you have it. Kunimitsu is going to take care of me so can you guys please go back and rest? It'll put me more at ease."

"Okay. We'll head back." Ichirou answers, picking up two of the coffees they bought.

Eiji gives me a kiss on the forehead, "Call me if anything, okay?"

"I will", I assure him just as he leaves the room.

I lean back against the backboard with an exaggerated sigh; all these interactions are finally taking their toll on me. Kunimitsu sits by my side again, his expression rigid and pensive. My gaze falls to his hands that are restlessly tapping his thighs. _Is he nervous?_ I mentally kick myself, why the heck would he be nervous. I let my gaze float up to his face and find him intently staring at me.

"I need to talk to you." I am a bit intimidated by how serious he sounds but I don't break eye contact with him; now is not the time to be running away.

"Okay. I'm here, so shoot."

"I'm still wrapping me head around all this so please bear with me. As I said before, I really care for you Shuusuke."

Even though I don't want to talk about this, even if he is scratching at open wounds, I don't stop him. "Yes, as a friend, right?"

"That's the problem…I don't think that's quite right." He pushes his silver glasses up; "I am more over-protective and involved when it comes to you than I have ever been with any of my friends in the past."

There is a lump in my throat that I can't swallow, "And?"

"Well, I don't want to dismiss these feelings. I am not sure if I just see you in a more familial way, or if my feelings are growing into something that will resemble what you feel for me. But I want to at least give it a try."

My cheeks turn rosy as my heart pumps my body with hope, "Are you sure about this, Kunimitsu?"

He gives me one of his flawless, microscopic smiles and takes my hand, "I'm sorry that I'm being so indecisive and that I can't promise you anything but my upmost effort."

I interlace my fingers with his, my facial muscles aching from my wide smile, "This is perfect. I'm so incredibly happy."

He clears his throat, " To be honest, I have very little experience with dating so I'll be in your care."

I let out an airy laugh, wiping my eyes to stop tears that are threatening to spill, "I'll make sure to lead you properly, then."

He ruffles my hair, his eyes shining brightly, "I've missed hearing you laugh. Your face is much more beautiful when it's graced by that smile of yours."

I cover my face with my free hand, positive that I look like I've been doused in red paint, "By the way you speak, I'd think you were swooning women from the womb."

"I am just being honest", he remarks.

"Uh-huh" I say as a yawn escapes my lips. "I'm sleepy."

"You should rest a bit before the doctors come by again."

I lay down on my side, facing him "I will. But can you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What is it?"

I rub the back of his hand with my thumb, "Can I hold your hand until I fall asleep?"

He brings his chair closer, "Of course. I don't mind."

"Also…"

"Yes?"

"Can you play with my hair like you were doing before? That felt nice."

He shyly cards the fingers of his free hand through my hair, "I'll take note that Prince Shuusuke likes to be pampered."

"Mm" I grin and close my eyes, letting the warmth lull me to sleep.


End file.
